The first day of the rest of my life

I dream of houses. Wandering around an old one, moving into a new one. When I dream about an actual building I have spent time in, I know it as that building but it different from real life. Like in high school, the layout of the buildings is the same but the appearance is different.

For years, I dreamed of an old Victorian house I loved roaming around in. It was neglected and dusty and dark and there were a couple of aunts living in the basement. I was the only one going upstairs. About a week after I got married, I dreamed about the house again only this time it was bright, refreshed, clean and bright. That’s when I realized the house was a dream metaphor for my life.

I have had a couple of dreams recently about the house I grew up in. I could be alone there and not feel lonely. I could retreat from the world into books.

Last night I dreamed I was part of a big family and we moved into a new house. It came furnished and didn’t look like much from the front. Inside it was at least 4 stories high, overfilled with furniture that was dark and heavy. But there were large windows opening on to a large open garden space. The view was great, once you removed the heavy curtains and heavy wooden furniture. As we wandered the rooms, I could see the basic structure and it was good and looking forward to clearing it out and enjoying the open space.

I move Brian into memory care today. My life is going to change drastically again. Time to clear out the house and get some light in.

Here we go.

Late summer is taking another lap around the track, it’s 9:15 and still 75 degrees. Supposedly, a cold front comes in tomorrow and makes it rainy and uncomfortably cool. Soup weather then.

I haven’t -posted much here about his dementia journey but my husband is in the late middle stages or early late stages, who ever chart or definition you use.

Today, he went for a hearing test, they determined he has some higher frequency hearing loss, not surprising. The hearing aids will be in the neighborhood of $5000 dollars. I don’t know if that’s going to help him enough to justify the cost. He gets to try them for a 30 day money back (sort of) guarantee. Insurance doesn’t pay for anything except part of the exam fee.

I am at the point of researching memory care facilities. There are a couple of them close by and the price is mid range for private pay which we will be. Medicare won’t pay unless he is discharged from a hospital for rehab needs and then only for 90 days. We don’t qualify for Medicaid because I inherited too much money from my dad which was supposed to be for our retirement. Yep, that kinda blows. The American health care system is broken.

I felt good yesterday evening like I had accomplished a lot in getting the ball rolling. Today, I felt like there’s a lot on my back. I have a friend going with me tomorrow for moral support and because her mom went through this journey. Right now, I’m feeling really heavy.

Teeny spark though, I’m thinking how the remains of a former camping trailer can be repurposed to travel in.

Bee Update

Last year I talked about the bees fighting and grappling mid-air. I figured it out this year.

Sitting on the back porch of my dad’s house, the bees are out again after winter. There were enough zooming around, I couldn’t get a count. There were two or three hovering at the edge of the porch and 3-5 coming and going. It turns out, it’s all about the birds and bees. Yep, the hovering bees that were grappling with the others are male, they have smaller and more slender abdomens. The ones coming and going from under the wood table are females with larger and rounder abdomens. All the chasing and evading and tumbling to the ground was all about mating.

This was their first time seeing us on the porch and I sat still while they looked me over. These are carpenter bees and totally non aggressive to people, unless you grab or hurt them. Then they can sting multiple times, unlike honeybees. In all the chasing and dodging, they ran into us a couple of times. They are about the size of the end joint of my thumb. you feel it when they hit, but it’s like being hit by a ping pong ball. They bounce right off.

The grackles are also hooking up, a pair of mockingbirds had a tryst in the yaupon holly and swallows are nesting on the front porch. Life is burgeoning in east Texas.